Whom Are You Serving?
Come closer to Me. Let Our closeness occur to you and now you live it. Desire to come closer to Me. Invite Our closeness. Anticipate My Presence close to you. Meet Me more than half-way, dear friend. Don't think that I have to make Our closeness happen. The fact is that We are indelibly close. I do not elude you. You could have a blind spot. We cannot miss where I am.
For instance, you have had the experience where you cannot find a pen to write with. Then you look again, and there the pen is, right under your nose.
To come closer, you can't stay at a distance. Do not look for Me and anticipate your age-old disappointment. Don't say to yourself:
"I've been anticipating God for five minutes, and He has not shown Himself."
Don't say to yourself:
"I have been anticipating God all my life, and He has not yet shown Himself."
You have every good reason to wait for Me, and no good reason not to be on the look-out for Me.
Understandably, you are impatient. Impatience is okay, yet when you look for proof that I am far away, it's too easy to get a picture of the proof you are looking for. You could be looking for the wrong clues. What satisfaction can you possibly have in finding evidence that you are correct? I'm hidden away somewhere? Why would you think that? Are you your friend or your foe?
Forget about disappointment. Disappointment is not what you want to anticipate. You don't want even an inkling of disappointment. Do not be looking for Me to fail to reach.
Don't look for disappointment. You may be seeking disappointment for reasons that you are unaware of. Do you know what I am talking about? Can it be possible that you are in the habit of leaning toward this kind of review:
"See, God did it again. He didn't come closer to me. See, I was right. Maybe I am just not a child God would want to take on as His own."
So you blame yourself. Or you may blame Me.
You might think:
"There, God did it again. He let Me down. He is good at letting me down, even betraying me. I can only think that God does not exist, or He is a fake. In any case, whatever His motives, He doesn't stand next to me or in front of me. I have looked for Him, and He fails to appear. He leaves me hanging. How on Earth can I have belief in God? How on Earth can I have any faith or trust in God?"
You can always find ways to feel bitter. Perhaps you are bitter. You may like to carry abandonment. You may like to boo-hoo about God's abandoning you, how left out and ignored you have been. Somehow you may feel vindicated by knowing that you are guilty of something -- or I am.
You take your pick. Neither choice is helpful. Blame Me or blame yourself -- neither is a good idea. Let go of the whole concept of blame. Blame and guilt are both lesser states of consciousness. Get past them.
Neither hostility nor attack nor self-recrimination or guilt serve you or anyone. They sure don't serve the world. Don't go near them. Stay away from them. They are not your friends. Don't associate with them. Do yourself a favor, and break all contact with negative influences. End it. Start over.
Accept the possibility at least that I am your True Friend, for I am Your True Friend. Certainly, I am not your opponent. Don't be put out with Me.
What if you just don't see well. Pay more attention now to seeing vaster and closer. Let the minutia go. Look for Me.