The Need to Be Heard and the Art of Listening
Heavenletter # 5899 Published on: January 18, 2017
In terms of the world, there are at least two parties who communicate. One is called the speaker, and the other is called the listener. True conversation is a beautiful tango. One leads, one follows. They both lead. They both follow. The listener really listens, doesn't interrupt, listens deeply until it’s his turn. Then there is role-reversal. Good speaker becomes good listener. There is no infringing. Each role is priceless.
It is hard for some people to express what they really want to express. For others, it is easier to speak than to listen. Speaker and listener are both essential. Without speaking and listening, where can communion lie?
If you are the listener at a particular moment, you may just be waiting for your turn to talk. Waiting eagerly to speak your heart isn't listening. It is counting the seconds until it is your turn.
For the want of listening, friendships have been given up.
One or the other, or both parties, shrug their shoulders and think: "He doesn't give a hoot. Why should I care?"
Friendships are broken. Wars start. All from an inability to listen. Sides are taken. There becomes a need not to listen as if listening were weakness.
Listening is a great skill. It is necessary for survival.
Goodness knows, you don't want someone to butter you up, nor do you want to pretend any more than you want to be pretended to. You want to understand, and you want to be understood. How important it is to be heard, and how important it is to hear.
To listen is not weakness. We could more wisely say that listening is strength too often unused whereas the need to be heard is Gargantuan and as deep as hunger. Somehow a need to be in charge too often surfaces and takes over. There is some kind of weak-kneed requirement to be right, even at all costs.
Beloveds, is it hard to understand and say: "I understand what you are saying.”
What's so hard about saying you're sorry? And what is so wonderful about being right? What is so wonderful about winning an argument? What have you won? You and your so-called opponent both win when an argument has cleared itself!
When there is honest talk right along, where would an opponent come from? False agreement later plays a part in resentment. Maybe you say nothing in order to acquiesce. Maybe you have not represented yourself right along. Maybe you gave your rights away, and, so, you have affronted yourself. Maybe you had such a need to be loved, a voice within you whispered inside yourself: "I will be the most giving person in the world. I will build our friendship at my own expense."
You want to be seen as a good guy and thus, perhaps, the fairest of all.
It is possible that you pay too much for too little, and you begin to see that you have been overpaying for favors. You made yourself small rather than great. Perhaps you started off from pretense. The false position is that you are not worth much. I say otherwise.
Dear Ones, you exist, and it is not a favor to the world or to anyone including you or your friend to negate your own self-worth.
Remember My request. My request is that you represent Me in all interactions. I am strong, dear ones. That I am humble does not mean I am an appeaser. That I am without ego doesn't mean I am a push-over.
I have nothing to prove. Nor do you. You are made in My Image. I am forthright. I don't make bargains. I do not trade. I do not give up Truth in order to gain something else. I certainly don't downplay Myself.
That I suggest you say Yes readily and more often doesn't mean you are a pawn who erases himself.
Remember, you represent Me. You are not to give your birthright away. I am the Way.