The way you see it on Earth is that you put up with too much. A habit of yours could be that you don't speak up enough.
Of course, there are many who also stick up for themselves very well.
There are, indeed, many who think later of what they ought to have said and likely could have saved themselves future difficulties down the road if only they had said.
There are so many habits of life and so many varied kinds of upbringing that impinge on your lives now.
It is even possible that you may think that to represent yourself is impolite, and yet you are aware that not speaking up for yourself contributes considerably to repeated unhappiness.
It's like you got on a certain track and somehow, no matter how you desire to get off that track, time and again you ride the same track no matter how much you rue your path of least resistance.
And then, when you do speak up, you seem to be programmed to feel you overdid it, or you did it in anger which now adds to your difficulties with yourself.
What fear is it that keeps you back from asserting yourself? Lack of practice you suppose? Your voice doesn't even think of it until too late. This is some kind of trap you set for yourself.
And, then, when you do rise to represent yourself, another kind of guilt sets in.
Somewhere along the line, you learned to put other people's feelings before your own. Perhaps you were taught or somehow picked up the idea that you were worth less than others, and, therefore, had to appease others. "Forgive me for living," may have been your unwitting stance.
Then, there were those few occasions, where you did pipe up, and it was so successful. You didn't demean anyone, yet you spoke for yourself, and it had a wonderful resolution – on both sides. How happy you were.
At these times, you fully believed in full honesty, and then you find yourself undercutting yourself again. At these times, you may tell yourself that there are worse things than being a fool, yet you don't really believe this. This is another false front you put on. You don't love yourself for it.
There is something here for you to master. Self-control isn't the answer. Self-hiding isn't the answer either. Why is speaking up effortlessly the answer for you? Do you really have to wait another lifetime to solve this crimping that many others don't have to battle with?
The worst thing about this is that you prop yourself up like a ready-made failure.
Maybe you just don't know when it's your right to speak up. On the other hand, you don't want this to be your big lesson in Life. And what is the lesson anyway? To know you have rights to be direct without fearing…fearing… what?
You don't want to sell yourself short. Maybe the crux of it is that you don’t want to sell yourself at all. Dear Ones, if you are on Earth, and you are, you are rightfully on Earth. You are supposed to be here. You have every right to let your needs be known. It's okay for you to need, and it's okay for you not to need, yet you happen to need, and you feel like such an amateur at this Game of Life.
Not that you want to be some super kind of professional either.
You are aware that there is much in Life you have surmounted. This area of speaking up you may think of as self-defense, and you object to that.
You may feel that when I handed out free will, I forgot you. You will somehow got cowed. It could be that you just don't give yourself credit.
I ask you now to speak a little louder. That's all you have to do. Project your voice. Represent yourself as you would represent someone else.
And if you miss here or there every now and then, so you missed, and you just keep walking on. You have progressed so much, and now you can like yourself more.
You never had to be perfection in the world's eyes. We are talking about your eyes, beloveds.